Palm: Revenge Of The Nerdi

There’s been some recent activity here at the blog nerve center of Mike Cane 2008 …

blogintelhq

… something new has appeared on our radar:

radarimage

That sent us into Alert Status:

alertstatus

And I’ve sent out my blog operatives to investigate:

blogops

And they’ve returned with a remarkable tale.

Ever since I published a certain post, a worldwide — if not galaxy-wide — memo was issued from the pen of Ed Colligan himself, with one overarching Imperial Directive –

Make Mike Cane do this:

makecanepay
Actual image from memo circulated by Ed Colligan himself!

Ever since Colligan strangled the life out of the Foleo

colliganfoleo

… he has been …

colliganobsession

You see …

palmmasterminds

… at Palm have noticed something about the Internets …

internets

While most other companies have looked at social networking with this myopic view:

notsocialnet

Palm has seen the Internets create …

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… something …

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… other companies …

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… have dismissed as a mutant …

netman04

… but that Palm wants to woo …

netman05

… a new kind of human being …

netman06

… raised by and in symbiosis with the Internet.

MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Friendfeed, Flickr, Qik, UStream, and on and on and on are the nodes this human feeds on — and into.

This phenomenon was evident back in the early 1980s, when it was discovered that the income brought in by CompuServe’s CB Simulator interactive chat program towered over everything else. Back then, live chat cost money for every hour of use. Yet people used it like an addictive drug.

Everything else today is nothing more than that, writ large.

Once Elevation Partners came on board to shake up things, the Palm coding wizards departed to their secure areas …

palmcodehq

… one to create a Scalable Operating System and one to create Social Applications …

palmcoders

… and each labored with one goal:

connectednet

… to create the axis upon which all of the Internets will spin!

When Nova was finally shown to Colligan …

nova001

… he was heard to loudly scream …

nova002

You’ll be Dumbass of the Year for 2009, Mike Cane!!!!

What I have in my favor is not thinking what everyone else is thinking.

Everyone out there thinks the first Nova device will be just another cheap-ass phone:

cheapassphone

You eejits! You think Palm poured its last drops of blood into something it’ll have to give over to a dumbass phone carrier to approve?

Besides, this is a kick-ass killer scalable social operating system.

Why waste the last shot on a stupid phone that will have to compete against the iPhone, the G1, and all the rest?

Palm has something …

palmhotness

… hot.

You don’t waste that on a phone. Only Apple can get away with that.

Palm would have to defend itself in a fierce marketplace …

palmfighting

… so the best strategy is to avoid that.

Instead what Palm will offer first is …

palmsexytablet

… a sexy mini-tablet. In line with its beginnings.

And it won’t be a netbook or a net tablet. It will be a Social Tablet.

Ed says:

“People’s work and personal lives are melding,” Colligan says, adding that Palm is aiming for the “fat middle of the market.”

Emphasis added by me.

It can be tethered with an existing cellphone. It will also offer a SIM slot. Note that carriers have no problems with Windows XP-based netbooks, so a sexy tablet would be a Go too.

And the beauty of that strategy is, as Palm sells jillions of this beast, it can dangle the cellphone model before the carriers and gain easy adoption and approval. And there will already be a ton of apps available for it.

What people tend to forget too: Palm helped to pioneer eBooks.

ebookreader

It was the original Palm Pilot that gave birth to Peanut Press and Fictionwise. A mass-market for eBooks had not been possible until then. This will again make Palm a factor in eBook sales. (Note that well, dying dinosaurs of print — a color touchscreen eBook reader!)

But how can all this be possible with Palm’s limited funds?

Don’t underestimate the financial wizardry of …

fredanderson

Fred Anderson, formerly of Apple, who knows …

andersonsbooks

… how to arrange financing.

This is a big play and Palm intends …

palmcleanup

… to rake it in.

Palm has assembled a team with a grudge. Against the entire industry. They are all determined not to go to their graves with the epitaph, “My best work was for done a company before Palm.”

And of course, they have that grudge against me too:

palmvictory
We’ll make Mike Cane bite off his tongue!!! Hahahahaha!!!

And yet, I still get the final word. This blog drops dead on December 31, 2008. I won’t be with a blog during January, when this all debuts. There won’t be a prominent place for me to post my severed tongue.

Of course, a slight leak could help things along.

Explore posts in the same categories: Books - Other, eBooks, Tech - Apple, Tech - Palm

5 Comments on “Palm: Revenge Of The Nerdi”


  1. Thanks for including “Small Places.” There is a huge dose of truth in that little statement you grabbed that I definitely can tell you “get.” Thanks, bro! Oh, I added you on my regular twitter today: http://www.twitter.com/nlbelardes. On Small Places the “follow” is messed up on it. Arghh. Those Twttergonauts are mussing things up. – n.l.

  2. Martin Says:

    Excellent thought process but how will they avoid everyone saying, “Fooleo” me once shame on you. “Fooleo” me twice same on me?

  3. mikecane Says:

    >>>“Fooleo” me once shame on you. “Fooleo” me twice same on me?

    Foleo wasn’t a touchscreen tablet. Foleo was a separate OS. Foleo was a one-trick wonder, mainly, now done by the Redfly.


  4. [...] verdient bijna een eigen thread, maar het hoort ook hier thuis, dus: Bij deze een fantastische kijk op hoe Palm bezig is door Mike Cane __________________ Would you mind repeating that? The spray is quite [...]


  5. [...] I still stand pat on what my Bene Gesserit told me about a sexy mini-tablet. Of course it will have WiFi built-in — because it’s webOS after all. I also expect a [...]


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