The Triumph Of The Mediocre Ego

The “Atomization of Conversation”

* Why call someone and tell them you’re coming to town? They’ve seen it on Dopplr.
* Want to tell someone about your recent trip to England? Don’t bother, they’ve seen the pictures on Flickr.
* No need to call me and ask whether the new movie I just saw is any good — you’ve seen my review on Flickster.
* Want to know what music I’m listening to right now? — check out iLike.
* Is someone you know suffering from an illness or injury? — stay connected and informed (and offer support) at their Carepage.
* Did your friend just open a bottle of wine? You can stay up to date on what they like (and don’t) by following their CellarTracker reviews.
* And if that didn’t cover it, don’t worry, you probably saw it in my Facebook Status updates or Twitter feed.

Anyone who actually does all that should be gently taken away and given a lethal injection to make room for the evolution of a better strain of human being.

If I ever encountered someone who told me to check out his goddammed Twitterfeed or FriendFeed or FacebookFeed, I’d tell him to fuck off. Any one of those three — as well as a few others — automatically indicates to me that I’m dealing with a narcissistic twit who is deep in the grip of self-delusion, believing that what he does is worth knowing by everyone.

3:10 PM: I just took a shit.
3:11 PM: I just wiped myself.
3:12 PM: I had to wipe three times!!!
3:13 PM: Flushing.
3:16 PM: Sorry I was gone for three minutes, I had to plunge!

You people are the laughingstock of the world and should go to a desert island and all die off.

And, please, one favor: Take along all those other assholes who swear by Getting Things Done — who don’t actually do anything except prioritize what they have to get done!

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