Beatings From God

Or is that for God?

Bentley bends

Mr. Bentley claims that God uses him as an instrument to heal the sick. He demonstrated this capacity at one Outpouring meeting by taking a run at a professed cancer patient and planting a knee hard into the man’s gut. The man fell to the floor, grimacing.

At another meeting, Mr. Bentley laughed about kicking a woman in the face in order to help deliver God’s healing touch. He spoke of his encounters with angels and prophets. He waved letters in front of his audiences, claiming they were written by relatives of people declared dead. Their dead kin had risen, he explained, after being exposed to his sermons, via GodTV broadcasts.

Emphasis added by me.

At last count, Mr. Bentley had been used by God to resurrect 20 people — verifications still to come.

Emphasis added by me.

Daaaayummmm.

People will apparently believe anything!

Maybe my next blog should be Mike Cane’s Nasty-Ass Kick Yo Ugly Sinner’s Face Church. Deliverance Daily With A Punch And A Kick!

Forgiveness: $100.00 offering
Extreme Forgiveness: $1,000.00 offering (hey, getting the sinning shit kicked out of you ain’t cheap, pal!)

I should start recruiting nuns right now! Want to be a Bene Gesserit, ladies?

But mine will be a Blonde Bene Gesserit. In white Go-Go boots!

Explore posts in the same categories: Other

4 Comments on “Beatings From God”

  1. ramin Says:

    I am intrigued by your ideas, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  2. mikecane Says:

    Hell, you can be a Reverend if you can recruit five hot lithe blonde nuns!

  3. ramin Says:

    Thanks, but I understand there may be an opening in a church up in British Columbia…

  4. mikecane Says:

    But they won’t have Blonde Bene Gesserits in white Go-Go boots!


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