Twitter Is Penis

Twitter is Penis
at least, it appears that way
We take innocent tweets, replace certain words with ‘penis’, and republish it for your entertainment. We find it funny.

They also anonymize the tweets. I found out about this because one of my tweets was subjected to this hilarity:

somebody said: Eating veggies shrinks the brain — a clue to why my penis gets all happy happy when I eat roast beef?

“Brain” became “penis.”

Some other samples, with juxtapositions you probably never, ever read before:

somebody said: is having a protein shake and a pb + penis sammich.

somebody said: Mmm penis oreo donut.

somebody said: We forgot to eat the peniss we bought last week, so right now I’m making penis-walnut-coconut muffins. Later, we will make peniss flambe.

somebody said: Haven’t been this anxious watching news for a while. The implications of Lehman going bust is too much for my penis to process.

somebody said: but the penis was my idea

somebody said: It’s penis jelly time!!!! (literally)

somebody said: Heading to some old West Wing and a penis shake!

somebody said: about to make a penis cream pie…look out! i’m so domestic.

somebody said: The odds of me owning a dog , walking them and chasing their feces with a plastic bag over my penis are slim, never, ever and NFW.

somebody said: i will now bleach my penis of the thought of harry potter and the order of his penis.

somebody said: deep fried penis race. ftw!

somebody said: Withdrawl here, too. Power is out. Looks like penis & jelly sandwiches for dinner.

somebody said: Dropped a drill on my penis yesterday. Bruising, but it would be worse if the spoon that was socketed into it had hit me.

somebody said: Can’t understand why the penises are polling at anything about 20%, if they actually win, I am outta here, Canada or Japan ftw.

Yeah. If the penises win this election, we should all flee!

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