JK on the Run: The Secret Transcript!

This should prove to everyone once and for all that James Kendrick and his evil minion Kevin Tofel must be stopped!

Now!

They are terrorizing this nation. They are subverting the domestic tranquility of millions of men by hypnotizing them into buying One More Thing.

Wives are going unclothed! Children are going unfed!

And I — yes, I! — am being personally persecuted by the Treacherous Two!

I ran their latest video through some stolen as yet unreleased software and extracted from it the secret transcript within!

After viewing this, all of you will know who to call!

Kendrick: Hey, Cane! Look at what I have!
Tofel: Heh-heh-heh!

Kendrick: And the Mini too! Look, Cane, I’m making them kiss!
Tofel: Damn! That is so hot! Heh-heh-heh!

Kendrick: Hey, Cane, it’s the HTC Advantage again!
Tofel: No, not that!!

Kendrick: Yes, Kevin! Show him your iPhone too!
Tofel: Heh-heh-heh!

Kendrick: Hold it close to the screen! Taunt him! Taunt him!!!
Tofel: Squeeeeee!

Kendrick: Look, Cane! It’s the new Opera! And it’s like the iPhone!
Tofel: Oh my god! Master, you are so eeeevil!

Kendrick: You’ll learn, Kevin, how to make Cane feel this small!
Tofel: Does Cane own a gun?

Kendrick: Who cares!?! We’re Fiends!
Tofel: Yeah, that’s right! Heh-heh-heh!

Someone please call Homeland Security!

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